1) Evil plans - God destroys
2) Our plans - God destroys
3) Plans are made or given
4) God has plans
5) Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed
6) Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed
7) In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps
8) Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails
9) Make plans by seeking advice; if you wage war, obtain guidance
10)Do not hide my plans from God - Woe to those who go to great depths to hide their plans from the LORD, who do their work in darkness and think, "Who sees us? Who will know?"
11)Carry out God's plan - [ Woe to the Obstinate Nation ] "Woe to the obstinate children," declares the LORD, "to those who carry out plans that are not mine, forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit, heaping sin upon sin;
12)Do not plan evil - [ Man's Plans and God's ] Woe to those who plan iniquity, to those who plot evil on their beds! At morning's light they carry it out because it is in their power to do it

i happened to stop at 12, 12 is a good number to stop at for now

And the static was in my ears and Your words in my eyes.

in this way i sought your purpose as i made my plans.

On Leave

The schedule over the past week and the new few days is as such.

26th - 27th Dec OFF
28th - 31th Dec Leave
01st - 02th Jan OFF
3th Jan Attempting OFF

The idea was to rest up for the new year.
To come to decisions about my studies.
Draw close to the Lord.
Get in shape.
Rest up.

What i have learn that is important.
1. I need -> i Ask -> i get.
2. God's words is alive.
2. It is better to serve than to want to lead for wanting to be in the spotlight of things.
3. Good and bad will all be seen eventually; nothing can stay hidden.
4. Jesus fights on when i cannot.
5. God does not look at outward appearances, God looks at the heart.
6. When i feel burned out, it means that i am not giving it up to the Lord.

Woke up

a Moment was all it took.

i woke up from 6 days of rest.

time to move out of Brook Besor

Overslept

Work today starts at 0745H.
and i was still in bed at 0800H...

so i woke up and was like xxx!!!
took my phone; called office and told boss that i overslept and was heading down to work asap.

Took a 2 minutes shower; and i was already starting to put on my uniform when the phone rang and office called me telling me that this other person came to work today thinking he had to work before realizing that he didn't have to.

So he was more than happy to work for me and i can just stay at home to shake leg for today and arrange at a later date to return 1 working day to this other person.

Took another 30minutes to explain to my bosses what had happened; made the necessary arrangements and went back to sleep.

If this person had not been around, i will have gotten into real trouble for being so late; thank God for this.

Thank God.

Man's Definations

We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.

We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.

We have killed our unborn and called it choice...

We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem.

We have abused power and called it politics.

We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.

We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression.

We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.

An extract From Living Life, Dec 2009.

Won't People Ever Wonder Who God is?

"The unspiritual self, just as it is by nature, can't receive the gifts of God's Spirit. There's no capacity for them. They seem like so much silliness. Spirit can be known only by spirit - God's Spirit in open communion.

1 Corinthians 2:14
The Holy Bible

I'm Yours(ukulele)

Dads For Life

Dads For Life from Little Red Ants on Vimeo.

Busy

been quite occupied lately with the ocassional sloth moments thus leading to a lack in update; lots has been happening and i will put some of them here in time to come.

meanwhile, 2 videos to share!

Stirred

i am stirred up, You stirred me up,
if your tide is coming

i will be apart of that tide

If it doesn't come then i will be the stones of the well
protecting the water until the time comes

when needing a dose of inspiration and drive

-seek peace with God

-go for a long run

-take a nice long bath

these are the first 3 things that come to my mind and since i still have some worries with regards to my ankle; i shall go take a nice long bath and seek God's peace.

Why People Dun Come Church and What Church Is About

My Daily Prayers

Daily i give thanks for simply being able to live.

I look around in amazement at the greens; the blues and the reds and remember how fascinating and beautiful this world can be.

I ask for a daily portion of grace and mercy which i do not deserve.

I ask too for the right spirit to be with me because in this day i know i will struggle; the words spoken out of my mouth, the voices that enter my ears, the thoughts conceive in my mind, the lust, the anger, the pride and the harden heart.

May i be so bold as to ask daily for a portion of God's spirit so i may last against all of this; that i may be blameless.

I will fight the fight; fight to not conform to what is wrong, fight to not be inward looking, the fight to praise the awesome God.

The heart is willing but the flesh is weak; please give me a daily portion of grace and mercy.

The Presentation, i dun believe this is 'when winning is losing'

just finished a presentation yesterday; thought it went pretty well; bombed with quite a fair bit of question most of which by grace i thought i answered well and without doubts.

the deal with this presentation is this; i was told to go in n lose it.

its the general mentality really; because if the project gets approval, there is going to be yet another presentation at a higher level to my boss's bosses.

there also is going to be the need to make adjustments and upgrades to the project and prototype.

this is compared to the project which failed and everyone on the team just continues to enjoy the rest of the year doing their own thing and all.

still the struggle is there; after putting in so much effort from conceiving the project and bring it to live which in this case i am referring to the presentation; how can there not be the smallest bit of desire to simply let the project die off.

it has never been my style to face the giants hoping to lose; and i still do not believe that this is one of the situations whereby winning is losing; it is not.

the previously mentioned mentality is simply a result of personnels being unmotivated, lazy and not being involved in the project resulting in the desire for a quick resolve and for expectations to be taken off them quickly.

i felt rather saddened by the behavior of my leader actually; once i first joined the office; he is someone who is amply talented in aspects which he has without fail used to bless the office and people around him.

people notice that and he began to be used more and more perhaps even to the point whereby he doesn't feel appreciated.

without a strong team behind him to share the burden and the constant toil weighing onto him, he started to exhibit what i call the 'general tai chi' behavior whereby he simply delegates as much work as he can down to people around him and avoid work; even those that he knows he will do well.

a person with so much talent, drive and heart being put to the grind of non-appreciation has slowly and perhaps unnoticed, become like everyone else; someone who blends into the picture.

i feel that its a waste but i also cannot help but wonder if that could actually be the truly right way of doing things in an environment whereby workers are unappreciated and made to feel cheapen and used without an avenue for regress, consultation and negotiation.

will i become like that too? i wonder

What am i doing?

And one night during night duty i asked myself "what am i doing?"

the above are words from a senior of mine who is leaving the force.

We were just casually chatting and he started sharing more about his heart for leaving and his plans from here.

This particular senior of mine was considered one of the better ones of his generations; he got his examination passes early in his career; something which was considered rare in his days; went on to training school for his instructor stint and if he had choose to stay in the system; he would probably be mapped pretty well.

but that one night during duty when he suddenly was asking himself what he is doing here and started remembering his previous dreams; he decided that it is time to pack up and go.

so there started the process of getting a higher education; and he already has a job offer even before he leaves the force.

i have been having this pulling feeling for awhile; like i kinda forgot what i was doing here in the organisation and i started thinking back about all the dreams i had since i was a little boy, the things i had wanted to do; the reason i gave up, the new dream; the reason i gave up and so on and so forth.

and there were things i couldn't remember; like why i started serving at TYA; why i started taking time to give personal tuition to some of the kids; why i had wanted to pursue an education in the area of early childhood development; counselling and then psychology.

this pulling feeling became so strong one night when i was with sending my girlfriend home that i needed to sit down and to make an effort to remember much of these past processes.

thankfully for my girlfriend; she remembered much of what i shared with her regarding many of these matters and that helped greatly as i tried to once again realign my drive and motivation.

its going to be a long journey into the unknown; and i better start moving.

have u wondered the "what am i doing?" question yet?

Monday is a presentation which i should never have needed to be in,

but

somehow i am in

for some strange reason i was needed to do the presentation slides

and i even did the whole freaking project; okay i had external help; lots of it...

whats everyone else doing?

Either way, i am still going there to win, not going to just go through motion;

i will not be washed away by your half past 6 attitudes and conform to you guys.

Thank God for extra work.

and work was surprisingly good.

still quite a fair bit to clear up before Sunday.

Thanks giving is for a good viper overall!

more shit from work just came in.

gonna do the

1 Thessalonians 5: 16 - 18

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

and now i shall switch my mind to crisis mode and decide the best course of action to handle everything.

Giving Thanks

i was trying very hard to give thanks for work this 2 weeks.

to be honest things hasn't exactly been going well n smooth the way i way i want it;

i am suffering on a inter-personal level and work wise has been less than satisfactory and i am particularly disheartened at the level of commitment and responsibility people has been showing towards their primary/secondary role.

at one of the previous Elevate Events; people were invited out to share their thanksgiving for the week and a rather familiar question was posted.

"Why do you think we give thanks?"

the above question is one that i have heard numerous times and every time the answer will be along the lines of give thanks to God for His blessing, that kinda thing.

But this time; the answer i heard is different and it really marked itself into my mind.

"We give thanks so that we remind ourselves about how God is real in our lives"

Its not the exact words and i hope i did not misinterpret anything and putting the particular concern aside; this statement really struck me as one of those "ding!" moments.

So i have been trying to find something to thank God for at work and after doing some self evaluation and thinking about it a bit; i am just going to thank God for the way it is at work currently.

If i change, everything changes.

gotta remember; gotta keep dreaming; gotta keep believing and finally gotta keep doing the right things.

Headphones

i shall buy myself new headphones for my own birthday present :)

Birthday Wish List

1. Oakley Sunglasses

Been wanting to get a pair to wear during my runs and all.

Great awesome time to get now as pam has that irresistible 40% off deal from where she works.

2. Ipod Touch

Office has banned newspapers, magazine and basically any reading material even if it is military related; the touch is still active in the office though; with a touch; tat will mean ebooks and a uber awesome organizer; and not to mention the monopoly app!

3. Watch Got it(yahoo)

Want to get a nicer looking one seeing how the old ones are just well; old.

4. Bag Got it(yahoo)

Trying to find something smaller than the huge porter bags that i luge around all the time; but nothing spotted that raises an interest without burning away my pocket.

5. Headphones Got it(yahoo)

Been wanting to get this for the longest time possible but just find it hard to justify the purchase as the white ONTO that my sister passed down to me is still barely hanging there.

Like to get my new stuffs with the old ones spoil.

Know what girlfriend is getting me already, can my friends ask me already what i want so i can tell them haha.

Oops look at time; work work.

White Mill

In case you haven't gotten my facebook invite or rejected it for whatever reasons.

Know that jennifer and zorah got this little place selling female accessories and clothing up.

Available both online and instores at White Mill and Baggage

Do check them out and give them your support!

Random Thought

a bit short on the updates as my mind is kinda enjoying the freedom to slack and wander lately.

Here's a random thought;

Since gays like guys

and butches like to act like guys

does that mean that gays and butches are meant to be together?

Happy Birthday Jennifer

Its been quite a 8months 2 Weeks and 4 Days.

Thanks for growing with me; Happy Birthday and for many more years to come.

Elevate Sept

Attended Elevate today.

from elevatehigher
"Elevate is a brand new platform for everyone with a passion for youth, ideas and fellowship to gather without any walls. There will be food, great worship and an inspiring message!"

On a personal feel, Elevate brings across something that is different from normal service.

They are relevant to the needs of youths/youths wanna be and inspires them to dream while answering personal questions on existence, purpose and so much more.

Today the message shared is on 1 Tim 4:11-16.

To date, i have heard this message quite a number of time but the timing of it today truly quite magical.

The overall packaging of the message and even the verses quoted resonated strongly with certain questions and struggles that i have been experiencing lately.

I thought it helped reaffirm certain basic beliefs and gave me the strength to continue dreaming.

When the call was given for us to simply stand up as and be prayed for; i thought about it briefly.

"This message is a relatively familiar message to me so should i stand?".

i glance around and saw "No one is standing".

-1 sec

-2 sec

-3 sec

"Owell since i am touched by the message, i shall stand; perhaps that will give courage for others to stand too!"

That was what i thought.

And when i stood; the odd sensation that i can only associate with as when God is working with me, that feeling came and filled me.

So i stood there knowing that God is doing some work here with me and opened my mouth to pray.

That was what i felt today at Elevate.

There were other experiences that i gained.

Like how i manage to think of an entire lesson to share with Jianwei as i plan to go about apologising to a Secondary 2 boy for having been to hard with him and putting him under what he calls "I am very stress"

Although he is showing better results and behavior; i find it hard to take credit for it.

While i believe that my method of teaching and pushing him is paying dividend, i cant help but ponder over the negative impact that i am showering over him on the same time.

Owell; that is another story for another time, i shall share about that after i meet up with him and apologized.

Thank God for Elevate today.

Exams Are Over!

As what's stated in title.

the girlfriend was asking about why the blog has been abandoned for so long and i was like hmm...

so here's a update.

with regards to the exam that i have been preparing for in the past year,
thank God that i am able to do the paper.
based on the stats gathered from previous years, less than half the students pass the exam and though we are finally seeing a higher rate of passing these 2 years; it still falls below the 50% mark.

i had mugged really hard for the exams, in fact; i had started mugging way back in January at a time when my colleagues were all still taking it easy and thinking that i am crazy for starting this early.
but i just really wanted to be able to go to the exam in peace knowing that i had tried hard enough.
Passing the exams means extra income and extra time as i can finally stop going for classes and put my focus on the coming year.

so i mugged and mugged and mugged to the extent whereby my girlfriend and i was spending quite a fair bit of time at the library and the airport simply mugging for our respective exams.

having mugged so hard, the strange thing was that i still felt uneasy during the couple of weeks leading to the exam.

and it was at that time that i was reminded of whats important and that is is to constantly draw near back to God, to find peace and solace through Him.
as the verse goes "i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

turns out that the paper is surprising a lot easier this year so i am just gonna hope for the best.

oyeah i had originally wanted to come out with some kind of a explanation as to why i have not been updating the blog but seems i had started sharing about my exam experience.

okay here goes; after the exams i have been busy with work projects, 3 to be exact.
other than that i have been catching up on reading and sleeping.
haven't really done as many runs as i would have liked and i was originally approaching a IPPT form right before the exams but the recent lying in bed reading and watching dvds seem to have taken me a couple of steps back.

basically i have been enjoying living life normally without having to worry much about exams and thats why i had not bothered to blog!

listening to some p&w music and there was a line that went like this.
:Your grace remains the shelter that i seek"

Exams

lets count

today Friday
Tomorrow Saturday
and then Sunday
and and then Monday
and and and then Tuesday
and and and and then Wednesday
and and and and and then Thursday

including today,
thats 1 day,
2 days,
3 days,
4 days,
5 days,
and 6 days!

woah scary...

Taipei 2009

Air Tickets booked
Hotel Rooms booked

yahoo!

Irritating Weekend

Friday:
Sucks

Saturday:
spent 3 hours on the transport not including the $20 i spent on the cab in between and i still didn't make it for service, got a snub from my girlfriend and basically went home a very disappointed and unhappy person without much console.

Sunday:
not very sure what to make of it.

irritating weekend.

Being 22

The issue with being 22 is that well; its a young age.

More often than not i hear from people that i dun think like a 22 year old nor do i make decisions like a 22 year old; i hear from them that i am more like 25 or 30 years old; to be honest i also hear that i dun act like a 22 year old but a 8 year old, but that kinda behavior is seen only by the privileged or should i say not so privileged few.

The thing is, i am 22 years old and sometimes i face struggles that regular 22 year olds face. like planning for the future, wanting useless material things, lazing around, doing crazy things, relationship issues and so on and so forth.

I was doing a bit of a reflection about the major decisions i made over the last few years; financial commitments, signing on, breakup, get together, plans, ideas, hopes. ambition(s) and a whole lot of stuff.

And while i look at all this things and see myself really accelerated in terms of the things i see and the mindsets i have developed; i look at some of the decisions i made and am making, the plans i made and remake and the greater future and the truth hits me so strongly.

You are but a 22 year old.

Material Wants At The Moment

-A Tri / Road Bike
but i dun wanna do triatalons; i just wanna ride a nice looking, fast feeling and comfortable tri / road bike while spamming my leg muscles; bringing it to aching point and still going.

-Oakley Sunglasses
been wanting to get this for the longest time; especially when i run longer distances and the sun can be really irritating in my eyes.
these days i imagine myself riding the road bike with the glasses wahahahahaa

-Bag
i finally feel that i want a smaller bag; still not very sure what i want yet; not being priced out of the market as the issue is more like i haven't had recreation time to shop around online or physically for awhile.

more soon; how can we have enough wants.

Giant Monchichi

woah a giant monchichi !

i am under the impression that most people will not know what a monchichi is and truth is; neither do i.

which cartoon series or children book is this character from?

no idea.

its just that in our family, my sister has this little monchichi soft toy and we have had it around since i was uber young.

the hands of the monchichi is both shaped in a 'tumbs up' manner and the mouth is slighty open so the right thing to do is to make it suck on its own tumb.

but me being me always does things differently, i will use it to fight against my ninja turtle figure and my japanese warrior figure; hours will past just from me lying down on the floor with these 3 fighting and fighting.

perhaps tats where i got my sense of imagination from.

anyway here's the video.

Little Jappanese Boy Saddened

i always wonder where people get the links to videos like this from.
i shall ask my girlfriend later when i remember since she is always feeding me videos like this

Sunglasses

I have always had a problem with sunglasses; perhaps its my face shape or just something to do with my seemingly bigger head.
ok i admit it might not be seemingly, i do have a bigger head but tats beside the point.

The point is, i just never seem to be able to fit into any sunglasses i wear; i somehow manage to look kinda odd among all of them.

Last week i was mugging at the airport and i hung out awhile with pam who works at sunglass hut and being bored, i told her to find me sunglasses to suit me.

We tried quite a few and she was using her "expert opinion" with regards to what i should wear and all,

and after awhile i found this
and this.

thought both of them looks pretty good; even on me, pam said so too so i started imagining myself wearing them while running or cycling.

anyone wanna get it for me?
pam has a 40% discount lol.

Creative Wedding Entrance

girlfriend sent me this link; thought it was pretty interesting stuff.
here goes

1 Hour

Here is what has happened in the past 1 hour.

1)

I sent the finished product to my boss last night.

*13 hours later

He told me to send to everyone else; ask them to vote for which they prefer.

Let him know the result

He will then show his boss the final work

Then he will give me the okay to get it out in print.

Its a bloody friday and the product was scheduled to be in office on monday.

2) My software just crashed on me; taking away all the amendments i made in the past 2 hours.

I didn't save :(

But no fear, since i now know what needs to be done; i can redo the edits in 15 mins.

3) The stupid facebook game mousehunt keeps telling me that i miss that 1 last mouse i need.

understand this, to catch a mouse u have to attract it and after attracting it u have to catch it.

when attracting it is shit enough; i have now attracted it for 3 times in 1 morning and missed it on all 3 times.

ok back to work but before that

ps: did i mention that its my off day today as well and i was originally planning to mug for my exams which are 1 month away but i am stuck doing this shit and there is going to be another dumb ass project coming like immediately?

The Folder

There is this folder on my computer called

"Do Not Click Unless Working"

i just clicked on it.

damn it, its my off day.

The Fray - Never Say Never

Reminiscing

i was re-visiting some of my old posts thanks to an accidental discovery by jennifer haha.

feel quite bad that she had to stumble onto bits and pieces of my past; think it made her feel quite uncomfortable and thats the reason why the archieve function has been taken away.

i went through some of the stuff i wrote back in 07 and it honestly was some seriously painful stuff.

they say that the creative people are at their best when they are depressed and feeling down, think thats true considering how amazing i become with words when i am in serious pain.

was thinking about how that phrase of life was like; preparing and building up the resolve to do the what i call "killing off of self".

i'm sorry we ended this way and how there is so little left to go back on but i have become such a different person from who i was back then; so different indeed.

i still have not given up my hope of getting that 50% discount vouncher from uniqlo surprise so that i can splurge on 2 pairs of jeans from there without being too stunned when my credit card statement arrives.

uniqlosurprise

u can check out the contest here, its quite fun really, slotting into slot machines and getting something from there.

ps: please ask me along for shopping if u got any vounchers!!!

The "My Milk Toof"

it was originally silly and childish yet i find myself eventually adding it to my regular list of web reads.

just 2 random plastic toys of tooths being photographed can be so different in the kind of content that is being delievered.

pictures that expresses itself so directly without much thought and drifting of the mind towards other things; this simplicity and innonence is perhaps what brings the mind back to its unsuspecting and doubtless state; to simply take in what is being communicated and not have to think of anything too complicated or underlying.

perhaps u too will grow to like this random read.

link

Anger Disappeared

i choose not to be pissed so that i can make better decisions without being clouded by my primitive sense of violence and unrationality.

now i think.

and in dire times i go to God asking for a miracle or for his greater purpose to be shown in the matter.

is this called prayer?

is pissed.

How Banks, Insurance Companies And Many Of This Investment Companies Make Money

I was explaining to my mum what Risk is.

Over the years she has bought quite a number of saving plans, investment linked policies and various other investment products.

You see, these products are sold to her always as

1. savings plan

2. capital guarantee

3. confirm profit

Thus she believes that when the maturity date hits, she will be able to take back 100% of her capital and whatever interests it may have earned.

I used to think that too until i start to realise how damn much the bloody insurance companies and banks are sucking from me while dumping ALL and yes i mean ALL the risk of the investment products on me.

Your financial advisers are honestly either

1. too much of a greenhorn.

2. trying to earn as much profits as possible

3. basically brainwashed by their companies

These financial adviser people like to say this statement without understanding the context, mechaniscs and works behind it.

"If you are in the investment for a longer term, you will defintely make money."

"You spread out your risks by investing over a long term so you won't lose money."

"This table will show you how much you get after 15, 25, 35 years based on our lowest estimation and based on higher estimations, you get even more!"

PART ONE.

Firstly i shall explain risk in a way no one has told you yet.

1. Funds.

Funds are made up of many different smaller individual companies or investment products or several smaller funds which are made up of the same smaller investment products."

Some of them are a mixture of bonds and reits which give a fixed payout.

A. Very good times.

Every one makes lots of money, the bonds pay their lowly interest, the reits and stocks gives fantastic dividends and the capital gain in your overall portfolio is yahoo!

BUT

your plan has some funny way of calculating the payout for each year to you which is explained in small prints written by lawyers who have always without fail write in english that we normal people will not be able to understand, no exact calculations are provided and during the cases where they are provided your adviser can't explain clearly to you about the formulas because they seriously dunno whats happening.

SO

despite of the fact that you have made some pretty wild gains in just interests and dividends alone, u only get a miserable bit of payout back which you are cheering about because you havent been understanding the financial statements they send you and how much more the company is earning from you.

but fine at least you earn money so everyone is happy!

B. Good times

the market is doing well but you are not getting a payout why?

again we go back to the fine prints and formulas and i can basically simplify all that shit to you by translating it into

"you are screwed, unless there are big gains you won't be getting a payout and all, and we will find endless reasons to serve you be it because of middle east, india or china and if all seems to be doing well we will just say one of the companies you bought folded so thats why u are not getting any money!"

the truth is that there is not enough gains to go around so they took it out and tell you there is none.

simple as that

C. Bad times

This is the straight forward one.

you dun get any payouts and your capital which is the amount you invested at first takes a hit but guess what?

you are still going to be paying charges which are like 2.5% to 4% per annual and it is usually calcuated based on the capital amount which you invested which means even if you lost 50% of that 10k u invested, you are still going to pay fees of 2.5% - 4% of 10k.

tough luck mate.

and dun be mistaken, more often than not, when you are making money; you are still paying fees on your capital amount and also the capital gain in your portfolio which mean that if the stocks you bought then are worth 10k and is worth 15k now, u have to pay 2.5% - 4% on 15k instead if 10k.

PART TWO

2. Risk

Risk is basically clearly listed on the top.

But if it is not simple and staight forward enough let me make it clearer.

Market Doing Well.

you pay more fees than usual, you get a small payout, bank gets a bigger payout.

everyone is happy.

Market NOT Doing Well.

you pay the fees on the amount you invested regardless of how much you lost.

you get no payout.

fees are deducted from your capital to further rub salt into the wound.

you lose money the banks loses NOTHING.

PART THREE

3. Responsibility

No matter what happens in the market, be it that the company folded because of fraud or terrorist attack or a ailen inviasion.

IT IS NOT THE PROBLEM OF THE BANK.

they take no responsiblility for your losses but they do take fees and charges no matter what.

the problem with the current system is that the people selling are not bothered enough to manage your portfolios for you properly and put in the effort to continue to learn about the market, spot trends.

what they are concern about is making more cold calls, harassing more friends or partying and hooking up with strangers who are introduced to them as friend's friend's friend's friends friend's friend's friend's friends friend's friend's friend's friends friend's friend's friend's friends friend's friend's friend's friends friend's friend's friend's friends friend's friend's friend's friends friend's friend's friend's friends friend's friend's friend's friends friend's friend's friend's friends friend's friend's friend's friends friend's friend's friend's friend's

friend.

so shit, i'm screwed man.

yes you are.

lastly i would like to add that not everyone is that much of a greenhorn and there are really good financial advisers and sales people but the problem is that the companies know that too.

the rich know everything i said already.

so what happens?

the banks and companies arrange for these 'better people' to manage the money of the rich and ultra rich so that these people can feel more justified in paying the fees and all because they know their money is in the better hands.

ok back to mugging and incase you are wondering what lead to this post, i am going after DBS bank for misrepresentation to my mum.

This is D*mn Good Reading

For the last few hours i have drifted between a chapter of work to a couple of articles online.

I really do enjoy reading and at times when i need something to let the mind rest from all that mugging; i am greatly thankful for the fact that i have a dozen new agencies and magazines bookmarked...

Anyway here's a article on marriage 21th century; some hard facts and basically a viewpoint that i agree with.

Times

Here is one portion of the article which i found rather interesting; not most interesting but rather interesting, go read the complete article and think about how you envision your own future, your own rights and wrongs and if you believe in a greater happiness in a new marriage theory.

The Ballad of Jon and Kate

Last summer, I had an opportunity to find out how meaningful the "in sickness and in health" clause of the marriage vows is when I underwent six rounds of chemotherapy, during which my husband treated me with great kindness. I began strong, making it to the dinner table every night and putting up a brave front for our children. But chemo, she will beat you down. I spent the last week on a friend's bedroom floor, heavily drugged, mildly nauseated and watching Jon & Kate Plus 8.

Ideal viewing conditions, as it turns out. I grew fond of the titular characters, in particular Kate, who seemed to stand like a colossus over their Pennsylvania tract home, constantly corralling and cajoling her uncountable — and, to the layperson, indistinguishable — children into doing relatively simple things, each of which became a hellish exercise in the improbable simply because of the logistics. Sixteen little shoes had to be found and tied before the family could even leave the house. That they weren't a pack of barefoot shut-ins was a testament to Kate's indomitable will.

Lying on the floor, drifting in and out of consciousness, I would gaze up at her and feel strangely comforted, the way you do around a certain kind of bossy, sexless power mom. The show approximated family life exactly: it was mostly good-natured and often boring and centered on the most basic transactions of daily existence — getting everybody dressed and fed, cleaning up, keeping quarrels to a simmer, not a boil. Now and then — in moments that genuinely did seem unscripted — Kate would wilt, leaning against the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee and seeming, for the twinkling of an eye, as though she were allowing herself to absorb the shock of it all. But then she would shake it off, plow forward, harass Jon into making himself a lower-calorie lunch and go back to wiping down the counters and giving orders.

Even though it was gimmick-filled reality television, there seemed to be a bit of actual — even profound — truth in it. The underlying premise was that Jon and Kate Gosselin's marriage was an enterprise dedicated not to making themselves happy but to taking care of the cavalcade of children they had produced, that they were laboring at something more significant than their own pleasure.

I got well, I went home, and I pretty much forgot about Jon and Kate until a few weeks ago, when they catapulted to the forefront of trash culture because they were — according to the tabloids — separated. I assumed it was a rumor, but it turned out to be true. Jon had gotten bored with being bossed around by Kate, he'd had a fling with a 23-year-old teacher, and the couple had filed for divorce. He still loved the kids, he said — with complete guilelessness, as though loving the kids and doing right by them were unrelated events: "I have a new chapter in my life. I'm only 32 years old. I really don't know what's going to happen." And of course, the Gosselins command more attention now that their union is broken than they did when it was intact.

Exam Timeline

May - SA 1
a chance to evaluate everyone and give out extra homework to everyone who didn't pass.
did i mention also the glaring by the boss
*glare*

July - SA 2, QT 1
the test that will determine whether you will be allowed to take the real nation exams in September, fail this and you will have to beg for a chance to take September's exams.

And why do i call this QT "1", because there is actually another QT called "2" which will happen after September for nation exams in December.

Not putting that here and i hope to clear the exams in September once and for all.
all the best to me...

Sept - SLE
This is it.

Evian Baby Ad 2009

Bread and Butter

Today or technically yesterday after that boring brief and listening to an entire bunch of stuff which i already know and not knowing yet what i dunno; one of my dear tampines neighbour gave me a ride home.

Thank God for that if not it will be a uber long ride home and the thought of having to leave the house again to head town might just have been too tiring for me.

In the midst of discussing about the briefing we just attended and the bit and pieces of details we hear and all; we came to the topic of
-interest
-passion
-bread and butter

i put forth my dream of my bread and butter being something that is not just a interest but a passion to me.

and he puts forth his reality of bread and butter over all else; dignity and sufficiency over interests, passions, dreams and instead staking hopes upon worries of not having enough bread and butter.

and he goes on to shares about a work life that is bleak, dead without hopes for a change; without the drive for ambition and a surrender to the routine grind, boredom, wrongs and pains of work.

as dreams, hopes and visions get trample upon day by day as we see more and more of this ugly world being slowly sucked devoid of hopes and a common future, what becomes of us?
how much more before we all shatter into pieces and retreat into our corners seeking self preservation.

will those who thread upon adversities and seek change in the hopes of a better tomorrow for a he, she, them, their, our eventually become beaten by the lies, the mental knives, the violence and become self consumed until nothing remains.

will the spark among the darkness disappear too.

have you stopped dreaming?

Kenneth and Junming Birthday 2009

this year its at Kushinbo.
kudoos to the bear and bearess for organizing this one.

attendance was pretty darn good; its good to see more familiar faces coming around.
had yet another briefing on my off day and thus managed to conveniently saved some money wahahaha!

jokes aside; i should have said this first,
Happy Birthday Mr Kenneth and Mr Junming!

its been like since year one poly; whatever many years that may be.
good to see all of us transiting to working life and settling down in our lives well.

it feels very good to see so many faces; even those who are looking 1/2 dead.
its only Monday and i hope the rest of the week brightens up and if it doesn't then may you continue on with the grind with good perseverance and spirit.

all the best people.

The Burn Of Work

saw quite a lot of really tired faces.
feel kinda sadden seeing them like that.

if only everyday will be smiles and laughter.

may the Lord grant you the peace you need and if you dun wanna receive it then may you find you own solace and refugee until otherwise.

Why am i not asleep

it is now officially Sunday according to my computer clock.
the time reads 2.42am 6/28/2009.

on Sundays i am almost always working the pm shift or on off so that i can be at church for service in the morning.
this Sunday is special as i am now not allowed to change shift due to H1N1 containment measures; i have a story to tell just on that alone but that will be for another time.

so if i have to be working the morning shift TODAY, what am i doing still awake at 2.45am as my clock currently reads.
well for starters i came back at like 1am from being out with the girlfriend, 1 fish and 1 dragon.
bowling and food can take so long, its pretty amazing.

and then for seconds i am thinking about what i would like to get done within the next 72 hours.

-pacify a angry senior at work whom most people at work wanna rain insults on and today i pretty much did that as he was seriously being too much a pain in the neck.
some pacifying to do for political reasons but more importantly because i honestly wanna apologize for being a disrespectful junior for giving him a piece of my mind though i do also feel he deserves that; will need to remember to let him understand that too tomorrow
(in a couple of hours)

-settle some financial issues with my mum so we can figure out some crap plan the banks sold her and which i am pissed about as my mum's and my sister's impotence towards investment has once again been exploited.
okay maybe just my mum, not my sis.
(on Tuesday after mum knocks off work)

-some work admin and recce which i honestly wanna tie up and conduct but am finding it hard to do so conveniently.
(Tuesday can? somehow find time in the morning or early afternoon)

-finances; finally being able to breath easily this month but still tracking more closely so i can make a proper recovery into the black.

-studies; PSB academy, need to pay their webby a visit to find out more about courses before i contempate a visit to the school
(Tuesday too? maybe late afternoon?)

ok i should thank God for today and everyday so far and to be and sleep soon.

2.54am, shall post it as 2.55am; prefer such numbers...
ooo! its 2.55am!

Return Me Money

After more than a quarter of the year and despite so so many smses and msn messages both online and offline mode
it came to this

Me: Hi miss J can u transfer me xxx amount of money for xxx.
Miss J: Erm i very busy; i having projects and exams, i transfer you after my exams okay?
Me: Okay sure
Miss J: But I got no posb account to transfer you
Me: Erm, your boyfriend?
Miss J: He also dun have
Me: Then perhaps you can ask someone you know to transfer or something;
its been quite long already.
Miss J: Okay i try
Miss J: Maybe you can go ask around see who have uob account then
i transfer to them; ask them pass to u.
Me: Maybe you want me to help you pack dinner,
bring to your house and collect the money from you at the same time?
Miss J: Okay i transfer you after my exams, now very busy everyday ... ... ...
Me: Okay

if you think i am irritated; have no doubts.
i am irk-ed

ostracize you hoping you will wake up from your idea.
and when that doesn't work; then its time to rethink a soft approach.

A feel of India in Singapore

a friend dropped me off in hougang where i can catch a direct bus home.
boarded bus number 72 to home sweet home and at hougang interchange something happened.

this whole lot of India nationals and there must have been like at least 50 - 80 of them boarded the bus and the smell that came along with it is like woah hoo!!!

i sat right at the back on the first level of the bus and the smell was like rushing towards my face as the bus moved along.

3mins later; i moved to the upper deck; all Indians but at least the smell wasn't that bad.

they say that the buses and trains in India are always packed like sardines and if you are a lady; u will simply be touched here there and everywhere.

i'm man and all i am thinking about is the heat and the smell.

i have always wanted to visit India; that has not change yet.
haha

Wireless @ SG

finally no more troublesome login whenever i wanna use wireless @ SG.
i will get a speed boast too?

seems too good to be true, i am seriously expecting them to do a couple of screwups first before they can rollout the complete package...

news here...

High Speed Broadband

It seems that not only is the boardband going to be uber quick at 1GB.
the development is moving at crazy speeds too!

there are people whose area can be fitted with the high speed fiber within this year!
but the actual launch of the service is another matter altogether...

you can check when your area will be fitted with the high speed fiber over here.
my area is like uber slow :(

Obama The Fly Killer

stumbled upon this video of Obama swatting a fly on TV.
interesting how this stuff is news material.

Chilling

currently at the NSRCC chalet.
been here since yesterday thanks to aunt who decided to book a chalet for the family.

slacked around a fair bit yesterday and ended the night with a BBQ and late night television.

began the day with a run in ECP and breakfast is sandwiches from my aunt.
just mayo with egg and cucumber but its made by familiar hands so it taste pretty good.

ok gotta mug.
exams a month away.

Money Issues

no matter how dire i might make things look at this moment;
the fact is that i have seen worse.

always have enough for whatever is necessary.

Thank you God!

Orientation 2009

just finished another stupid orientation yesterday.
was involved in the committee this time round, did everything within my responsibility relatively well (i think), there were no complains whatsoever regarding my part and all.

but i am just stuck with this lousy feeling after everything ended; like i dun feel involved enough or just that i am once again questioning the value behind wasting the new people coming into the company.

words for that occasion.
Lame Shit

The Shower Room

my sister and i have this bad habit, maybe its not really a bad habit but rather more of a coincidence kind of thing.

either way; this is what usually happens.

either one of us will be at home already; maybe after coming home earlier than the other after being out or just simply stoning at home.

and then, once the other sibling comes home; the one who is already at home will quickly use the bathroom to bathe at around the same time as when the one who just came home wants to shower.

lost?

basically,

I come home,
I walk to my room to get my towel and home clothes and heads towards the bathroom.

My sister steps in to take her bath moments before i can make the first move.

randomness.

Excited and O...

i was going home feeling real excited, i was thinking about who can i share this excitement with and i was like

erm...

so i reached home still with all that excitement, there was dinner on the table; its spaghetti.
i took plate without thinking and starting eating still lost in thought.

dun remember how i ate the food and i took another plate; same thing happened.

and another and another, and just like that i finished 4 plates of the food!

slowed down my thoughts a little and started thinking about other stuff; like how that half a million disappeared just like that and suddenly a equation started forming in my head.

me = company happy hour publicity IC

so if company happy hour committee becomes battalion family day committee; i suddenly became battalion family day publicity IC.

realize this while showering, froze for a couple of moments while the water continued to run...

Love Story meets Viva La Vida

the girlfriend posted this video which i think is excellent music.
sharing it...

Ippt Updates

Silver, 4 - 6 weeks before i go for another attempt at Gold.

bad news: more training

good news: injury to legs are better, in a way

Pizza City and Kia Commercial

stumbled onto this new game while i was surfing around.
its called Pizza City whereby u go around sending pizza and clearing a couple of side quests along the way.

pretty cool and retro game.
check it out if you want to.

Pizza City

as of this moment they have this commercial showing while the game is loading.
its what my girlfriend will consider cute and all.
here's a full version of it

Angel

You're Beatiful, scroll down for more creative lyrics...



Your Life Is Brilliant
My Life Is Pure
You Saw An Angel

That's Me lor

The Fatigue In Living

there are times when i wonder if i really have become stronger in bearing or have i simply become unfeeling and cold.

you only know what i want you to know.


shows nothing or perhaps i simply forgot how to show all these emotions and share any burdens.

Planning 'Rumored' Best Friend's Birthday

just want to say Fala you are missed!

hope things over there in the states are going well for you!!!

Uber Rich

my 'rumored' best friend's dream birthday present is one of my sub cards.
somehow many of my friends seem to have this impression that i am this uber rich kid.

i wonder who remembers the days whereby i was seriously trying to scrimp and save just to have enough money to get by; those were the days.

honestly, put someone else in my shoes with my commitments and i dun think they will consider themselves rich but for myself?

sure i'm rich, i have a God who provides me with everything i need.

Christian Words

From Wikipedia

Amen - Common English translations of the word includes

• Verily
  
• Truly
  
• So Be It
  
• Let It Be
  Used colloquially to express strong agreement
  

Hallelujah -

• An Exclamation Of Praise/Thanksgiving To God
  
• As An Expression Of Gratitude Or Adoration

Hosanna -

• Is the cry of praise or adoration shouted in recognition of the Messiah ship of Jesus on his entry into Jerusalem.

  Overall, it seems that, "Hosanna," is a cry for salvation, while at the same time is a declaration of praise.
  Therefore, it may be derived that this plea for help is out of an agreeably positive connotation.

• The old interpretation "Save, now!" is based on Psalm 118:25.

Forgiveness

Person One: The Person Who Needs To Be Forgiven
Person Two: The Person Who Needs To Give Forgiven

Person One might not ask for forgiveness

But with every day that Person Two doesn't release forgiveness, he/she will continue to live unhappily bearing that grudge.

While Person One will continue to live on his/her own way not feeling particular annoyed by anything.

Although cases may differ and person one/two might be able to go on each day without being particular bothered at all; wouldn't it make more sense if person two simply releases forgiveness without person one asking for it.

For how long do we want to continue harboring our past hurts, pains when we can be released from this simply by choosing to forgive and letting the past go by.

We have the choice to live with or without such burdens.

Being agreeable, where is your line?

first of all; lets watch this video
Miss California Carrie Prejean likes opposite marriage better then gay marriage



Perez Hilton:
“Vermont recently became the 4th state to legalize same-sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit. Why or why not?”

Prejean:
“Well, I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And you know what, in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised and that’s how I think it should be between a man and a woman. Thank you very much.”

These are the after show remarks
Speaking after the show, which was broadcast on Sunday evening in the US,

Ms Prejean said: "I wouldn't have had it any other way. I said what I feel. I stated an opinion that was true to myself and that's all I can do."

Perez Hilton:
"he is floored" by Ms Prejean's answer, which, he said, "alienated millions of gay and lesbian Americans, their families and their supporters".
"She lost it because of that question. She was definitely the front-runner before that.

Keith Lewis, who runs the Miss California competition, released a statement condemning
Ms Prejean's comments.

"As co-director of the Miss California USA, I am personally saddened and hurt that Miss California believes marriage rights belong only to a man and a woman."

__________________________________________________

and now on a personal level, i really admire this women.
how easy is it to simply give the textbook answer in a situation like this; to not offend anyone and be diplomatic about things. it is no secret that Hilton is gay and despite that she still choose to reply like that.

sometimes i wonder how far we have blurred the line between right and wrong because of our diplomacy; to simply be agreeable because the situation calls for it and we dun wanna be the ones who rock the boat even if what is being expressed and done is against our basic moral fibers.

and you know what i think? i really believe that this diplomacy is one of the contributing reason to the degeneration of us humans; at least in morals.

previous shamed and unspoken matters such as divorce, adultery, homosexuality, child abandonment and etc; these things are now committed publicly without shame and in the name of freedom, happiness and other reasons which makes me feel
"i wanna spit on your face"

and as for this co organizer and judges who decide to mark her down because of what she says; all i wanna say is this; "you are so much lesser of a man"

but thats normal isn't it? you're homo.

ps: my opinion on homosexuality is this

While we tolerate and love these who have made a different choice,
Why should we compromise on our very basic moral fibers.
Is this the state of the world that you want your children to grow up in?
If not why the heck are you pretending to be so agreeable about it.
In my heart i try to love gays, lesbians, adulteress, adulterer and other of such characters; i accept you for who you are but if you are gonna ask me if i think it is normal and if it is right; i will tell you simply this.

No.

The Truth

i just saw today the real amount of studying i need to prepare for this year's exams.
i am gonna need to start mugging a lot harder!!!

The Singapore Yardstick

i once heard a saying that went something like that

we spend the first ten years of our lives working and chasing the Singapore Dream
and the next ten years trying to get back all the time we lost in those previous ten years.

what do i mean by Singapore Dream;
it is the yardstick which we Singaporeans measure success with.

-highly educated
-high paying 0800 - 1700 job with endless OT
-a car that is the equivalent of a 3/4 Room Flat on 4 Wheels

u pretty much know the rest of the criteria; property, the high life and all.
seriously, i never really understood why we try so hard to emulate these bunch of people who hates their job and hardly gets the chance to spend all the crazy amount of money they earn.

i mean, there are people who seriously excel at being a banker or a doctor and all but more often than not; i see people who are working in this line and simply waiting for a way out.
ask them why they continue to stay on the job when they obviously derive hardly any joy from it and the most common answer is ' the money is good'

and if u are to probe a little bit more; you will come to realize that they have some other interests or areas which they have a real interest and perhaps even passion in.

but to pursue it?
seems like a risk, not to mention a pay cut and the lack of understanding from those around them...
"What? u quit being an accountant so u can go into writing!!!"
"That is like a 2-3 fold pay cut if we were to just look at in in terms of 5 years!!!"

despite this but yet that is all that some of us do; not enjoying it but simply chasing after it because that is what society has taught them.

i wonder how many of us were meant to become something else.
a chef? a professional athlete? a music teacher? a artist?
a car mechanic who will go on to own his own garage because of the passion for motor vehicles!

we have become a society that shuns and considers many of such 'non elite' jobs.
its has become almost wrong to dream to become anything that dun pay you damn freaking good.

sometimes i wonder what are the lives my friends are leading?

to seek out that particular area that corresponds with their interest and passion and to live everyday breathing and engaging it

or is it to continuously try and land the next higher paying job in the hope of getting a bigger pay package.

what drives you?

Bye Bye Bicycle, Bye Bye

was doing some cleanup on the bicycle.
someone will be coming over within the next hour to collect the bike.

who will actually bother to clean up a bike he is selling off.
in fact the bike now looks better than when it first arrived!

wiped and cleaned the rims and the tires; stopped short of kiwi-ing the tires to make it mat black again ha ha.

used a plastic ruler to scrap off bits of the paint marks that was stuck on the frame.
got a fair bit off.

wiped everywhere else i can reach with a dry cloth; removing the dirt and some other stuff which i do not know how to define.

notice more things needing to be replaced while cleaning; some bits of relieve...

shall not bother to say more than this;
i'll miss the bike.